I'm finally here with a report of Week 4 of my challenge, the very last week. I still wasn't as active as I expected or hoped of myself....BUUUUTTTT.....I completely accepted it without any...or let's be honest...much judgment. But to my excuse or argument, the last week was a pretty intense week for me. I had to fly back to Wyoming for my thesis defense as well as prepare for a New Teacher Quality Selection Event with the one out of 19 school districts in the DFW area to contact me. So needless to say I was in extreme tunnel mode this week preparing for both events.
I was able to get one asana session in. I also recited my mantras several times throughout the week as well. But this week of mantras was different, it was a tad bit deeper than normal as if my mantras were more than mantras this time around. They were active prayers and expressions of my innermost desires. This is something I have felt from time to time, that my mantras transformed into prayers in certain moments and situations in my life. I guess this would make sense as mantras are supposed to be acts of devotion. Devotion and prayer do go hand in hand.
Instead of actively going to my designated corner area to pray, recite mantras and commune at a designated time everyday, I was in constant communication with Soul and God throughout the week, throughout the day. Praying and talking to God in my spare moments. It was different, weird, but natural for me. I recited and prayed and talked whenever the urge arose within me or I felt it was necessary. I loved it. I didn't feel ashamed not to be doing it at 6 am and 6 pm everyday as if those were the only perfect times. I recited at my times; the time when I needed it, Soul needed it. It was a different experience for me. One that made me feel more relaxed, natural and comfortable with my spiritual journey. As a result on my last day in Wyoming (after successfully defending and passing my thesis), I visited one of my favorite, most serene spots in Laramie, the Greenbelt. I just walked around for a bit, but I mainly journal-ed and took pictures, attempting to capture the extreme peace and sense of relief I felt from taking the one of the final steps on my graduate school journey ;-). It was...beautiful. I felt light and relaxed and calm and at peace with my life and where I was at in all aspects of my life, spiritual, personal, social, all of it. Ironically, I also had an extreme sense of acceptance as I knew that this "high" I was on would not last. That it was perfectly logical that it could very well end in as short as a few hours. Surprisingly, that was perfectly ok with me. I didn't cling to it nor despair over its inevitable passing. Instead, I allowed myself to soak it all in. It was what I like to call....awesomazing...
The peace did wane a little bit upon arriving back home in Texas and preparing for the New Teacher Quality Selection Event that upcoming Saturday. I was anxious and scared and nervous about it, but it was different. The nervous calm I had at my defense arose again and everything was ok. I accepted the nervous feelings I had and they seemed to...not necessarily subside but not affect me so profoundly as they could have.
So needless to say, although I was not as active as I had planned. I was consistently inconsistent as my Soul Sister, Mila, likes to say. Where you purposely let go and attempt to flow in the direction that life, that Soul wants to take you. I love this concept and the lesson she imparted upon me. It played a crucial role, I believe, into the experiences I was able to gain and open myself up to this week. But instead of using the term "consistently inconsistent," I like to call it actively surrendering ;-) Purposely surrendering to life, actively designating God, Soul, the Universe, higher beings whatever name or concept you choose to guide my actions and experiences, instead of Ego, Satan, the Devil, again whichever name you choose. Active Surrender it leads to beautiful things...
*Mila is a happiness life coach, based in Florida. Two hours away from Miami. She is a close and very, very dear friend to me. She is also the founder of Happy Life Discovery where she helps others to find the happiness and purpose in their own lives. Check her out at www.HappyLifeDiscovery.com
I was able to get one asana session in. I also recited my mantras several times throughout the week as well. But this week of mantras was different, it was a tad bit deeper than normal as if my mantras were more than mantras this time around. They were active prayers and expressions of my innermost desires. This is something I have felt from time to time, that my mantras transformed into prayers in certain moments and situations in my life. I guess this would make sense as mantras are supposed to be acts of devotion. Devotion and prayer do go hand in hand.
Instead of actively going to my designated corner area to pray, recite mantras and commune at a designated time everyday, I was in constant communication with Soul and God throughout the week, throughout the day. Praying and talking to God in my spare moments. It was different, weird, but natural for me. I recited and prayed and talked whenever the urge arose within me or I felt it was necessary. I loved it. I didn't feel ashamed not to be doing it at 6 am and 6 pm everyday as if those were the only perfect times. I recited at my times; the time when I needed it, Soul needed it. It was a different experience for me. One that made me feel more relaxed, natural and comfortable with my spiritual journey. As a result on my last day in Wyoming (after successfully defending and passing my thesis), I visited one of my favorite, most serene spots in Laramie, the Greenbelt. I just walked around for a bit, but I mainly journal-ed and took pictures, attempting to capture the extreme peace and sense of relief I felt from taking the one of the final steps on my graduate school journey ;-). It was...beautiful. I felt light and relaxed and calm and at peace with my life and where I was at in all aspects of my life, spiritual, personal, social, all of it. Ironically, I also had an extreme sense of acceptance as I knew that this "high" I was on would not last. That it was perfectly logical that it could very well end in as short as a few hours. Surprisingly, that was perfectly ok with me. I didn't cling to it nor despair over its inevitable passing. Instead, I allowed myself to soak it all in. It was what I like to call....awesomazing...
The peace did wane a little bit upon arriving back home in Texas and preparing for the New Teacher Quality Selection Event that upcoming Saturday. I was anxious and scared and nervous about it, but it was different. The nervous calm I had at my defense arose again and everything was ok. I accepted the nervous feelings I had and they seemed to...not necessarily subside but not affect me so profoundly as they could have.
So needless to say, although I was not as active as I had planned. I was consistently inconsistent as my Soul Sister, Mila, likes to say. Where you purposely let go and attempt to flow in the direction that life, that Soul wants to take you. I love this concept and the lesson she imparted upon me. It played a crucial role, I believe, into the experiences I was able to gain and open myself up to this week. But instead of using the term "consistently inconsistent," I like to call it actively surrendering ;-) Purposely surrendering to life, actively designating God, Soul, the Universe, higher beings whatever name or concept you choose to guide my actions and experiences, instead of Ego, Satan, the Devil, again whichever name you choose. Active Surrender it leads to beautiful things...
*Mila is a happiness life coach, based in Florida. Two hours away from Miami. She is a close and very, very dear friend to me. She is also the founder of Happy Life Discovery where she helps others to find the happiness and purpose in their own lives. Check her out at www.HappyLifeDiscovery.com
Thank you, my soul sister, for your continuous love and support. Your posts are so heartfelt and thoughtful, I both appreciate and admire your willingness to share your thoughts and feelings with all of us. I agree with your comments on "consistently inconsistent" -- this can be a term reserved for to-do lists and uninspiring activities rather. Purposely surrendering to life, actively designating God/Soul/The Universe is a beautiful way to describe it. Of course, only you could articulate so wonderfully. xo :)